To What's Best

Today, the homily can be summed up with this one sentence: “ don’t be afraid to let go of what’s good to choose what is best.”

This time last year was the day before the letting go trip. I just think it’s fitting. It’s also nice to be reminded that it was the right thing to do. 

I’ve just “let go” of another one too and I thank last year for the experience that allowed me to make that decision. That allowed me to know what not to do.

I’ve grown up a lot. Thanks for being a catalyst.

The best is yet to come. 😃😃😃

My Kind of Roller Coaster

I'm not one to ride on roller coasters.

I don't like the feeling of the wind being punched out of me as I go through the ride swirling around and feeling my stomach turn around with my whole body seemingly emptying out. The adrenaline rush and the thrill of the experience is really not something that entices me. To be honest, I'm more turned off than excited.

But today, that's how it felt. I felt like I was in a roller coaster and all I wanted to do was actually jump off the seat and see if I can continue flying. I wanted to go faster and see how it feels like to feel the wind going through me and maybe it'll give me enough momentum to throw me into space so I can just float. I felt like I was going through the loops and being turned upside down and feeling a thrill that is outside of my body but inside of me at the same time.

My heart was (and still is) beating against my chest as if it wants to burst. This must be what adrenaline junkies and thrill-seekers feel whenever they're about to start a new ride, jump of a cliff or do whatever it is that gives them that high.

There is also a profound sense of happiness in me. I guess this is how it feels to be so happy that your heart is beating more than it should. I'm telling my heart to be still but as of this point it's to no avail.

I know I'm writing this post, with lack of context and no proofreading. I barely have words to describe and release all this but all I have are words at this point to make sense of it.

This is my kind of roller-coaster, my kind of high.